I had a good day on the golf course yesterday. I got invited to fill in a foursome. Mostly guys around my age, and older. We played best ball which meant all four of us hit and then we played the best shot. The format does nothing for your handicap, but it’s a great way to spend a day on the course. You’re with your friends for every shot and there is literally no pressure.

I bombed some drives, make long fairway shots, and sank putts. In between, I duffed a bunch, put balls in the water, and missed easy putts. The format, however, allowed me to think only about the good shots, and there were plenty. And as I said, it made for a nice day. My exercise app said I burned about 1500 calories and kept my heart rate at an average of 93 bpm. The latter number seems a little high and makes me think I should try to relax more on the course. It might help my game.

It seems odd at my age to be thinking about how I can get better at something, but I do. I’d like to get better at golf and playing my guitar. It’s why I practice. And I seem to be making progress on both fronts. And I’d like to be a better person, and I’m practicing there, too. But sometimes you just push up against the physical boundaries of your abilities. No amount of practice will make me Tiger Woods or Mozart. And on the people front sometimes there’s nothing you can do to stop your stupid self.

John W. Wilson is the author of The Long Goodbye: A Caregiver's Tale