It appears I may have finally dissuaded a pair of swallows from breeding in my garage. Of course, the garage has all manner of bird control devices in it and it’s scented with peppermint spray, but it’s a fair trade from being covered in swallow poop. They’re still on the front and back porches and that’s okay. A birds gotta live, and they’re not English sparrows. So, we’re all good.

In other action, I’ve turned on the porch fans in an effort to get the remaining birds to socialize in the trees and on the power lines rather than on my porch. That seems to work as well. It’s really hard to sit casually and look cool on a spinning fan blade. I have no idea why it took me ten years to think about that solution to poopy porches. Of course, I’m also power washing the porches once a month, which is up considerably from my previous schedule of once in a great while.

In the end it’s all about maintenance, and I’m all about maintenance. Speaking of which, I have a wall to paint outside, and I’ll probably try to do it this week. Just another thing in a long list of things I’m trying to accomplish with my house. At some point I’m going to have to try and paint an eave which has turned suspiciously dark, but it’s high up and I think I’ve aged out of that game. I may have to call in a pro. Oh, no. But yes, I will do it. Paying money to stay off a tall ladder.