I spent a great weekend with the young grandkids in Houston. We sat on the couch. We cuddled. We talked. We watched TV. We went for long bike rides in the neighborhood. They explained the family rules for the grandfather, and generally abided by them. TV volumes were respectable, and bedtime and book time, were abided by. On Sunday, I drove home to be with friends and their grandkids. And there were more hugs all around. Satisfying days.

I also managed on my trip to Houston to conduct a short study of privacy fence design. I was looking for features I could incorporate as I replace the old, beaten fence that separates my house from the back lots. I found several good ideas. Two of them were rot boards at the bottom with beveled edges to keep water from pooling and a flat top trim, to keep water from pooling on the top of the slats. Now I have to figure out which ones I can execute considering my limited skill set.

That’s always the trick with anything, isn’t it. Your grasp often exceeds your reach. But then again, if you never reach, you never know what you’ll get. And then you spend your life wondering why you never tried or possibly even understanding what your reach was. So, I’m going for those beveled rot boards because I have router bits and circular saws and I’ve cut wood and some of it even ended up inside my houses in the form of shelves and tables. Most likely a testament to my late wife’s ability to endure than my skill, but I tried. And that counts.

John W. Wilson is the author of The Long Goodbye: A Caregiver's Tale