Dreamed I got laid off last night. Didn’t seem to bother me. Not sure what the job was or why I got let go. The dream came during a good night’s sleep. I guess it was just the brain’s way of cleaning things up. Although, I wish I knew what corner it went to in sweeping out that cobweb. I’ve been laid off twice. The first time was really traumatic but led to the best job I ever had. The second time was expected, and I was ready to retire anyhow. In neither case have I felt much grief. So, I wonder why my sleeping brain went there?

Maybe it has something to do with actual grief and the passing of my wife. That might be worth exploring, which is sort of what I’m doing now as I write. One thought leads to another and presto, there’s an idea. Being laid off is the end of one thing and the start of another. Although, in this case, I am reminded of a cartoon I saw once. A group of cave men were standing around holding clubs. One of them was retiring. The lead cave man was holding a watch and saying, “Thanks for your years of service. We’re giving you this gold watch and a chance to run for it.”

That seemed sporting, which I guess sums up life. You go from one thing to the next, and if you’re lucky you get a chance to run for it. Which I think is what I’m doing in this hazy, post wife world. Running for it. I guess at some point, I’ll stop and take a breath to try and figure out where I am. Although, as I discovered in my past layoffs, moving forward was always the best option because if you wanted to find out what tomorrow was going to bring, you had to go there all the while acting as though it was right where you wanted to be.

John W. Wilson is the author of The Long Goodbye: A Caregiver’s Tale