The marie pavia roses are going to need a pruning. But I’m going to let them reveal where the cuts need to come. At the moment, they’re putting on a lot of growth, but there are plenty of bare limbs that look as though they need to go, but you never know. I suspect they’re doing what comes easy, and the hard part will come later if it comes at all. That’s when I’ll look to prune, after the plant has talked to me, and said, “Cut here.”

That’s the nice thing about plants. They let you know where they hurt and why if you can read the signs. Over the years I’ve gotten better at it, although I’m a big believer in water, sunlight and healthy soil. Plus, I tend to think you get the latter with mulch and supporting plants. They all sort of work together. And a lot of times, with plants, you just need to let them settle in and get acclimated. Patience is the best bet.

It took me a long time to realize it, but that approach works pretty well with people, too. Give them space, and a place to grow, and they’ll work it out. Or not. And if it doesn’t happen, find a replacement. It’s not like there aren’t lots of people who need and want friends. Sounds sort of callous, but it’s made my later years less tumultuous than my youth, although I do still get a twinge when something doesn’t bloom as planned. It’s just that I now understand all I can do is offer a place to grow and my best intentions, after that it’s up to the tree or the plant or the friend.

John W. Wilson is the author of The Long Goodbye: A Caregiver’s Tale