Gatewood Press

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Standing

It is entirely possible to get caught in the trap of comparing what you have to what other’s have. Yesterday, as I floated in my white trash pool and thought I needed to buy a new chlorine dispenser it occurred to me that inviting people over for a swim was a bit like inviting people over to see my new double-wide trailer when maybe they had a mansion on a hill or at least a big house in the suburbs. And what’s even weirder is that we actually lived in a double-wide trailer before we bought our home in Alvin.

It's just a thing, I guess, like playing an Epiphone guitar when everyone else has Martins. Or driving an ancient Toyota Camry when everyone else has new SUVs. Or drinking Jack Daniel’s when everyone else knows the name of a more exclusive bourbon. It’s not just being one-upped it’s constantly being made to wonder if somehow, you’ve failed at life because you don’t have the right things or the best things. And don’t get me wrong, I don’t feel like a failure at all, in fact I’m really happy with my life and my guitars and my pool.

It's just that it’s possible to get disconnected from reality and wonder if other people are judging you by what you have rather than what you are because they think that what you are is somehow related to what you have. Because that’s what happened to me for the briefest of moments yesterday evening as I floated around examining my life, mulling over my inadequacies both real and imagined. But luckily for me, I have people willing to come float in my white trash pool and drink my bourbon because they enjoy my company. So, the feeling passed, and here I am, and this evening I’ll float in the pool, enjoy the breeze, and think, life could certainly be worse.