The Caregiver’s Tales: A Blog

Lifespans. The word came to me this morning as I watched the big garden spider tend its web on the corner of the back porch. It has about a year to do its business. Catch food. Find a mate. Lay eggs. Then I watched a mosquito fly by. It has two weeks to two months to pack in its living. The little black cat that called our place home got about ten years before feline cancer brought its life to an end yesterday. I’ve had 80 so far, while my late wife only got 70.

Drove into Houston last Friday with a long-time friend to watch our college team play ball on Saturday. Our crew of season ticket-holders used to number ten. Now it’s two and we only buy tickets when we need them. The game was played on a fine fall day in Texas with lots of sun and highs in the nineties. Our team won after a delay brought on by lightning. There was rain too. Just enough to make the humidity spike.

It feels as though everything these days requires a subscription. We no longer buy things. We pay for access. I think if they could figure out how to do that with clothes and groceries they would. You can get in for free to the necessities section of the grocery with in-app purchases. Pay a monthly fee for access to the larger selection store. Buy the premium service and you can get the best cuts of meat. It’s probably a model under construction somewhere. Or maybe it’s Costco and Sam’s.

Fell into the data center rabbit hole after my recent drive through Bosque County. I was enjoying the scenery when a big sign for data center careers caught my eye. I thought, one must be nearby. And sure enough there it was. So, I took a picture and went looking to see what was up. I discovered the site is being built by a company named CyrusOne which is owned by Kohlberg Kravis Roberts (KKR) and Global Infrastructure Partners (GIP), a wholly owned subsidiary of Blackrock. Ultimately the site, a hyperscale data center, will cover nearly 17 acres.

Sometimes you have to take the long way round. Yesterday, I did just that. I was returning from Dallas, heading home. It was early. The roads were clear. GPS had me on I35. But I stopped just outside Waco at the Hill Country safety rest area and reconsidered. What was the rush? So, just up the road I turned right on a country road and headed west, making my way to Highway 281 and home.

We had a taste of rain last night. I could hear it fall. I even went outside to listen. That’s a nice thing about porches. You can stand outside in the rain. It’s especially nice when the rain is gentle, tapping on the tin roof, bringing up all the earthy smells, and washing dust off the leaves. More rain is promised today. Of course, there’s no one to hold to the promise. It’s more like a systemic probability.

The second part of my two part effort at self-healing takes place today. I started with the mind. Now, it’s the body’s turn. I’m seeing a physical therapist to if I can get what’s left of my body back into some sort of working shape. This comes to me courtesy of a friend who read my recent post about balance issues. He put me in touch with his daughter (a physical therapist), who gave me local references.

Started on a journey yesterday. Personal. Met with a counselor. Every once in a while, I just need someone to talk to. A way to hand off the baggage or maybe get some help. Friends are good, but friends usually have their own problems and shuffling mine onto their shoulders is sometimes an ask too far. So, I opted for professional help after finding myself mired in a miasma of inaction.