There is so much going on these days in the world outside my fence that it’s hard not to notice, but one thing’s for sure, trying to get reliable news about anything, is a little bit like drinking from a fire hose. The stories come at me in bits and pieces and new bits replace old pieces before I can figure out what the first bit meant and follow ups get lost in all the confusion if any follow ups come at all. It’s enough to make someone want to run and hide, except that may be the point, although that just might be me trying to give purpose to random events.

I have a swivel rocker my late wife and I purchased shortly after we bought our first house in 1975. It’s an Ethan Allen chair and it was our first piece of furniture that wasn’t a hand me down or bought from an outlet store. It was re-upholstered in 2010 when we built our current home. It long ago lost its central, front room role to bigger, fancier chairs, mostly recliners, and was relegated to the bedroom. It came back to the front room this year, when I took over its bedroom space for my music.

I worked outside yesterday and at the end of the day I was worn out from the wind. I’ve had days of it blowing from the west and the north and now it’s blowing from the south. And it’s blowing hard, and making loud noises, and tumping things over. It’s like walking down a crowded sidewalk or jostling through people at a big music event. You’re pushed and beat upon. I’ve breathed dust from every part of Texas, and none of it feels good for me. I want it to stop.

The spring cleaning of the gardens is making steady progress. The next big project is to mulch the area that holds my newest trellis and was once home to a peach tree since departed. I’ve put down limestone blocks to replace the old fence as the back border, but there's still a couple of those to go, and there are a few windblown grasses to pull up. Then I’ll turn the old mulch, add the new and we’ll be done.

There was fire, with smoke and ash in the sky yesterday. The plume of smoke hovered over us all day as the fire grew from 400 acres to 8,000 while the wind blew hard with its load of west texas sand. Then at dusk, as though someone had turned a switch the wind dropped and the cool air came. This morning it’s 42 and the fire is 92 percent contained. We could still use the rain, but the cool nights are a blessing.

The front room this morning is a maze of cables, amps, pedals, and instruments. Music is being made. We’re missing the daughter and her bass, but the boys are back with keyboards and guitars. Someone starts a riff , or dad starts singing, and off we go. Covers, originals. It matters not. What’s the key? Boom. There’s a downbeat. We’re off.

There’s a cool breeze this morning. A Carolina Wren is looking for friends, and the day looks promising. We sure need rain. All that’s promised, however, is more wind and dust, laced with fire warnings. This bodes ill for summer, which is why I’m making plans for Maine and maybe the mountains of New Mexico, anything to escape the heat, if and when it comes, which it most likely will.

My world is getting turned upside down. In addition to learning I have to hate Canada and love Russia now I’m starting to hear that empathy might cause the fall of Western Civilization. That’s going to kill the sympathy card business and lord knows what florists will do. And talk about re-thinking history. It seems as though the success of the various civil rights and civil liberties movements for blacks, women, and gays was a direct result of empathy, of people walking a mile in someone else’s shoes, and thinking, “Wow, that’s uncomfortable and why do they have to do that?”

I think the AI revolution has started and it’s more insidious than I thought. Yesterday, without warning, six large fingernail clippers showed up on the island in my kitchen. I have no idea how the hive mind communicated with them, but it did and there they were. Of course, there might be another less fun explanation. Whenever I’ve needed a clipper I get one from a place where I know I keep one–my dopp kit, my car, the bathroom, my guitar case, or a drugstore. Then at the end of the day, when I empty my pockets I put the clipper on the island. Although I did not know I possessed six of them, and I don’t know how I failed to see them gathering. That was a revelation and an interesting discovery.

I wanted to be an altar boy in the strongest possible way when I was in the fifth grade in 1956. I wanted to wear the black cassock and white surplice. I wanted to be part of the mass.  And I did it in 29 Palms, California. I was thrilled the first time the priest said the opening lines, “Introibo ad altare Dei,” and I replied, “ad Deum qui laetificat juventutem meam.” Which when translated means, “I will go to the altar of God, the God who gives joy to my youth.”, and not only did the mass give joy to my youth, but so did the gospels. And even today when I see the acronym DEI, I think of those lines and how the mass and the gospels infused my response to the civil rights movements for blacks, women, and gays.

Inclusion. This is a hard one, because on a personal level it’s likely we spend most of our lives excluding people and things from our lives. And while it's logical to argue that diversity is good and exposure to different foods, and music, and art will enrich our lives, most of us find ourselves settling in with the familiar religion, music, people and food that we like. And that feels pretty normal. There are even laws to protect our ability to choose, and laws to protect us from people who want to get too close to us.

I like the word equity. I have some in my home, and I try to have it in my life. It’s about fairness, but like its brother, diversity, it has gotten a bad rap in some quarters recently. What I don’t understand is why? Equity is baked into almost everything we do in our lives, especially sports. We handicap golfers and bowlers to even the playing field. We divide fighters into weight classes so that fighters are evenly matched. Horses and race cars are managed. Our public schools are divided into classes based on size. It’s about equity.

I was re-watching the Good Shepherd the other day, a 2006 film by Robert De Niro. It’s a fictional work about the creation of American Intelligence services. There’s an early scene where De Niro’s character is recruiting Matt Damon’s character to join the new endeavor prior to the US entering World War II. They’re at a Skull and Bones retreat, which is a secret society at Yale. In a quiet room over cigars and brandy, De Niro explains, “I’ll be looking for a few good men to head up various departments, in other words no Jews, or Negroes, or very few Catholics…”

Spent a great deal of time outside yesterday, and I believe I’m paying the coughing price this morning. The winds were up and so was the dust but I drove the ball well and we couldn’t quit our first round of golf this year for a little wind and dust. So, we plodded on and now my nose is stuffy and I’ve got a bit of a cough, plus I’m sore again, but I’ve decided that is simply the price of living past my best-used-by date, the other is attributed to the dust.

Progress is being made. The sumacs which lined the ground between my house and the fence of the back pasture, are disappearing. They are being meticulously cut and pulled by yours truly. The view of the pasture is back in season. I had let it slip away these last five years as the voracious little shrubs conquered ever more ground and closed in around me, cutting off my view and shortening my horizons. But that’s done.

West Texas followed me home. It kicked up on Sunday when we left Lajitas. High winds scoured the land and lifted sand and soil into the air. We out drove it, but the system kept on moving east, until it got here yesterday. There was a thunderstorm in the night, then wind, mighty wind, too. Things flew around, fences came loose, and I lost sight of the hills out my back windows.

You can tell you’re getting old when you wake up sore and the only thing you did the previous day was take a long walk. I guess I need to take more long walks, although I thought I was doing fairly well in that regard. Afterall I just spent a week hiking various trails in Big Bend, and I almost always chose walking over driving in camp. Perhaps I overdid it, because there’s a line in a song I like, Old Folks Boogie, about my mind making promises my body can’t keep and I do tend to think I’m young and act like it, although looking in a mirror will draw me up short.

My latest trip to Lajitas and Big Bend is in the books. It was a week under the stars with friends and music. We played games. Sat by the pool. Ate good food. Laughed, and generally had a good time. There were hikes and explorations galore and my daughter got to check off a number of bucket list items which included long walks in canyons and standing by the Rio Grande.

This morning I went for a walk to the cemetery that sits beside the entrance to Maverick RV park where we’re spending a peaceful week in Lajitas. There’s not much to see at the cemetery. Most of the graves are unmarked barrows, piles of Boguillas sandstone, the bones of the earth covering the bones of men. Seems fitting and oddly peaceful.