Give and Take
This past winter I introduced pansies into the flowerbed beneath the big oaks. I needed the color. Something nice to look at out the window. Previously, non-natives were banned. I’d like to say it was a mutual decision, but it was pretty much mine. I have no idea why my wife went along with it, but she did, except for the rose that’s now about eight feet tall at the east end of the house, and she’s no longer here to explain herself. Talk about regrets and missed opportunities.
A regret because the pansies look really nice, as do the marigolds I put in this spring, and I’m certain she would have loved that. And this reminds me of all the flowerbeds we used to have where it was always a joint expedition with my wife being the driving force, and colorful plants were always showing up. One I particularly liked were the Johnny Jump Ups a viola. They looked nice and they always came back, a perennial. Coming back is a plant characteristic I admire.
Of course, as I think about it. While I dictated the schema for these beds, she had the porch and the pots and so there were always the delicate flowers. And I always had a voice in all our other flowerbeds. It was never a one-sided conversation. It was something we did together. So, maybe I wasn’t being a bully about these beds. I imagine if she had survived and maintained her mind, the delicate flowers would have moved to more permanent quarters as they have under my direction. Part of that give and take of marriage. A part I can only imagine these days. A part I miss. A lot. And I’m going to find some of those violas.
John W. Wilson is the author of The Long Goodbye: A Caregiver’s Tale