Gone Friend

My friend Jim Tobin passed away this past Sunday, October 3. He was a victim of ALS. We met because the brother of my wife’s best friend was a Phi Kappa Theta at the University of Houston and Jim was a member and his friend as well. As time passed, we grew close, but I imagine all his friends felt they were close because he was a kind and gentle man who never let you doubt you were his friend. He kept in touch. Made sure you were included.

Still, he and I had a fair amount in common. He had a goofy sense of humor. In the picture above, he’s the one with his finger in his nose. He was in the Marine Reserves at the same time I was in the Naval Reserve. We both worked in the energy industry. We both started our own companies. We golfed together and shared pretty much the same handicap. He was the one who told me, it may not be the clubs, and I understood that wisdom. We held season tickets together for University of Houston Football and Basketball. His wife was a Ya-Ya as was my wife. The timing of his demise was intertwined with my wife’s demise. Now she’s gone and he’s gone, and another light has winked out. And I’m sad, again.

Of course, that’s the way of the world. You get to a certain age and death comes knocking. Although, truth be told, it knocks all the time, it’s just that now you’re beginning to think your door might be next, especially when it happens to friends and loved ones. And there’s also the nagging question of why is it the good ones who seem to go first? Pretty inexplicable. Of the things to ponder, however, I’d rather think about how he lived his life because there’s lots of useful information there for those of us left behind, and personally I can use all the help I can get.

John W. Wilson is the author of The Long Goodbye: A Caregiver’s Tale