Troubled Mind

It is cool outside this morning. There is a heavy dew. Days of rain are starting to pay dividends. The coral sage is standing tall with tons of red blooms. The pink Turks caps are full of flowers. The little persimmon tree is putting on leaves. Even the tiff grass yard has returned from dormancy with sprigs of green. There is life in the fields. I need to edge. I need to mow.

So, I imagine that on Labor Day I will go out and labor. Feels right. I picked up an orbital sander yesterday so that I can work on my gate. And I’m taking the measure of the old fence to see what I want to do about a new one. There’s nothing better than sweat to ease a troubled mind, not that mine is troubled all that much. It’s just that life these days has a where do I go from here vibe about it. Hardly uncommon, I would imagine, for the freshly widowed, although it’s been two years for me. I think it’s more likely my recent brush with surgery is responsible for unsettling me.

In the end, I guess it’s natural to always be thinking about what’s next and wonder what the future holds. Although, I find it best most times to simply concentrate on the immediate future and let the big future take care of itself. And for me the immediate future holds some yard work, maybe a trip to town to buy a book or two this week, and then I’ll have the pleasure of my daughter’s company this weekend. And that pretty much sums up a good ordinary life, the sum of which makes for a good future.

John W. Wilson is the author of The Long Goodbye: A Caregiver's Tale