New Things
Here’s an odd thing I’ve noticed in my journey of recovery from the illness and the loss of my wife. Sports are once again interesting, particularly when there’s a story involved, a story such as the emergence of the Detroit Lions as a winning team, having won nothing for a long time. Or Brock Purdy becoming a champion in San Francisco as an unheralded draftee. Just on a whim, I find myself tuning in to see what’s happening on Sundays and weekends. It’s weird. Because for the longest time, nothing about the NFL seemed interesting at all.
In addition, I’ve started tuning into the evening news. Just to see what’s up. Again, another thing I had stopped doing. Taken together with my return to sports watching, it reminds me of my life when things were more or less normal and I was participating in the communal life of my friends and neighbors and country. I guess you can say, I’m back. What’s really odd, however, is that I’ve had this feeling of being back in other stages of my journey through grief. So, this one is quite a revelation. It shows me just how deep I’d gone into the deep end, and how little I understood what was happening to me. It’s a little scary.
Luckily, I guess, I just kept swimming to the light, and now I’m in it. Although, my experience now shows me that perhaps the trick is to always keep swimming to the light. And I’m going to get really trite here and say, in other words, don’t stop believing. Because it appears as you keep working on your health and mental health new things will reveal themselves because your brain will catch on to what’s happening and get really excited for all the new things you’re doing. And that feels really positive, and later this morning, I think I’ll take a long walk in the sun.