Reset
I hate to say anything before it happens, because sometimes talking about something before you do it dooms the plan to failure, because you talked about it and in your mind that’s the equivalent of doing. But this seems harmless, and I know I’m going to do it, right after Christmas, and now I’m excited because I have something to anticipate, which I believe goes a long way toward making ordinary days palatable.
What I’m going to do is this, paint an accent wall and move a big piece of furniture. It’s a little scary, because this will be the first time in memory that I made that sort of decision on my own. Painting things in the house was usually under my late wife’s purview. But she’s gone now, I’m on my own, and I don’t really need to keep the house the way she left it when she died to remember her. I think about her every day.
I’ve been doing this for a while now in all sorts of little ways, taking down the curtains in the bedroom, reorganizing things in the kitchen, changing up the Christmas decorations. Making the house mine. This is a big one though, and it represents a seismic shift. Part of my new Guadalupian period, I guess. This is my life now after the giant asteroid hit and burned the world and now the recovery has started. A time for remaking the landscape of my life. I’ll send pictures when I’m done.